


January 20th

by hojo



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-18 19:36:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9400016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hojo/pseuds/hojo
Summary: Lukas and Philip worry about the future.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this shitty today, I decided to write this. I wrote this in like five minutes because I needed something to get my mind off of everything. I'm very upset, so there are probably tons of mistakes :( I'm sorry.
> 
> English is not my first language.

In light of the day they’re about to experience, Helen and Gabe don’t put up a fight when Philip asks if Lukas can sleep over. Not even Bo says a word. He still doesn’t understand, no matter how many times Gabe tries to explain, but he gives up and allows Lukas to spend the night over at Helen ad Gabe’s house.

Lukas and Philip lie in bed, the sun just barely coming through the shut blinds. Their arms and legs are wrapping around each other, trying to figure out where one ends and the other begins. Not that it matters. They don’t have much time. They don’t feel like they have much time. They’ve been through so much already. They’re still here, but today just might change all that for them. The comfort that they seek in each other will only go so far.

Lukas drags his fingers slowly up and down Philip’s arm. He needs a little more time, time just to be them. He hates himself for how much time he lost by hiding, by hurting Philip.

“What are we going to do?” Philip whispers, nuzzling against Lukas’ chest.

“I’m not sure.”

Philip leans up, placing a hand on Lukas’ chest and looks into his eyes. “What are we going to do?” he asks again.

Lukas wraps his arms around Philip, bringing Philip back to his chest, and kisses the top of his head. “I don’t know.”

Philip sighs. He isn’t mad, not at Lukas, not even a little. He doesn’t know what to do either. He doesn’t even think he can move. He’s too sad, upset, depressed, dejected. He knows Lukas feels the same. Lukas just won’t say it, but Philip can see it in his eyes, can feel it in the way Lukas holds him.

“If I knew this was how it was going to end, I wouldn’t have come out,” Lukas tries to joke. He pauses, exhales a deep breath. “That isn’t funny, sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

But it isn’t okay. They both know it isn’t okay, and it won’t ever be okay.

“It feels like the world is ending. I mean, I know it’s not, but it feels like it is.”

Lukas takes a shaky breath. “What if we won’t… what if we won’t be able to ever get married?” Philip leans up and looks at Lukas. “I don’t mean to each other. I just mean in general.” Philip clenches his jaw. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Well,” Philip starts, “today very well might be the last day.”

Lukas sits up a little too quickly, nearly knocking Philip to the floor. “What the hell, Lukas?”

“We should.”

“We should what?”

“Get married.”

Philip shakes his head. “Stop being so dramatic.”

“I’m not being dramatic. I’m being serious.”

“I’m so sure.”

“I’m being dead serious, Philip. At least we’ll know what it’s like to have a wedding before they take it away.”

Philip’s eyes instantly sting with tears, and he tries to look away, but Lukas places his hand on his chin and doesn’t allow him too. “We can’t even get married legally. We’re not eighteen yet, remember?”

“And we won’t be allowed to get married later either, remember?” Lukas looks down, swallows shallowly, suddenly becoming nervous. “Would you marry me?”

“Even if I wasn’t scared of what was coming, yes.” Philip nods.

“Come on,” Lukas says, pulling Philip to stand.

“Where are we going?”

“To get married.”

Philip laughs. “We can’t.”

“We can… if they let us.”

Lukas drags Philip out of his room, all the way down the stairs and into the kitchen, and find Gabe and Helen having coffee. 

“We want to get married,” Lukas announces.

Helen drops her coffee cup to the table, spilling coffee everywhere, and Gabe chokes on his coffee, eyes watering. 

“What did you just say?” Helen asks.

“We want to get married,” Philip says.

“You aren’t eighteen,” Gabe tells them gently.

“They’re going to take everything away from us. We might not get another chance. Ever,” Lukas replies. “And even if we could, we’d still want to.” He squeezes Philip’s hand.

Helen and Gabe look at each other, silently talking. Lukas shifts back and forth, rocking a little, nervous and scared. Philip tries to decipher the mood in the kitchen, but can’t quite come up with anything that will help tell him how this will end.

“I’ll get the keys,” Helen announces, standing up.

“I’m driving,” Gabe says. 

Lukas and Philip are in shock, unable to speak. They were expecting a fight, anything other than Helen and Gabe allowing them to get married, even if they’ll only be married for a short amount of time before the new administration takes back what was already rightfully given.

“We can’t sign for you, Lukas. We’ll have to get your dad, and he might not agree.” Helen grabs her sheriff’s jacket even though she’s in street clothes. Lukas guesses she’s willing to use a little authority to help them out.

“You can use my ring, Philip. We’ll have to get one for you, Lukas.”

“Let’s go, let’s go,” Helen ushers them out the door.

Philip and Lukas hold hands all the way to the Waldenbeck’s farm.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bo's decision.

Helen gets on the phone the moment they pull out of the drive, but Lukas and Philip can’t hear a word she’s saying. They’re too nervous and worried, clutching onto each other’s hand, staring straight ahead. Getting married, making a mistake, not getting to the court in time doesn’t worry them. They aren’t even worried the marriage won’t be legal for long. They’re worried they won’t even get a chance. They’re worried about Bo, but they don’t won't to say that out loud. So they carefully avoiding Gabe’s eyes in the rearview mirror, afraid he might think they’re having second thoughts.

Flashes of lights and the sound of sirens bring Lukas and Philip out of their collective daze. And that’s when they notice they’re pulling up to Bo’s farm.

Philip leans up in his seat, never letting go of Lukas’ hand, and taps on Helen’s shoulder. “Helen?” Philip asks.

“It’s just Tony.”

“Oh,” Philip says, visibly relaxing, but he isn’t sure why Tony has to use the siren.

Gabe parks the car, and they all get out, joining in a tight circle in front of the car.

Tony runs to Helen, out of breath and sweaty, hands clutching papers. “You never give me any time, boss, but I did it.” Tony smiles, proud and wide.

“Don’t complain, Tony. You-”

Bo slams the front door shut behind him, making Lukas and Philip jump, and stops Helen from talking. Gabe takes a step forward, always going up to bat for his kid. “Bo.” Gabe nods his head.

“What’s going on here?”

The look of anger on Bo’s face makes Lukas’ stomach lurch. Lukas presses closer to Philip, knocking their shoulders together. Things have been better since Lukas was shot. But Bo has only said he loves Lukas once, and he refuses to accept that Lukas’ is gay, always trying to talk about girls at college, and even going as far as saying trauma changes a person, but Lukas can fix himself with the right woman. Bo loves his son but only superficially. He loves the thought of Lukas, the motocross Lukas, the popular Lukas, the Lukas with a girlfriend, but he doesn’t actually love or accept Lukas for the person he is. So they don’t talk about it, about Philip, getting shot, his happiness, his PTSD.

“Now, Bo,” Gabe walks closer to Bo, hands out in front of him, placating him. But Lukas isn’t sure that’s enough. He looks to Helen for help, but she’s too busy whispering to Tony.

“I said, what is going on?”

“Lukas and Philip need a flavor.”

“I’m not giving them money,” Bo says, eyes narrowing. “And there’s no way that boy is pregnant.”

Lukas flinches, biting hard on the inside of his cheek. Philip caresses Lukas’ cheek with his free hand. “It’s okay,” he whispers.

Seeing Philip touch his son in such a loving away, makes Bo see red. He crosses his arms over his chest. “You don’t need to throw it in my face. Why do people like you always do that?”

“People like you?” Lukas asks quietly.

“Hey,” Gabe says a little louder. “That isn’t fair.”

Helen walks over and stands beside Gabe. “This isn’t about money, Bo. We need only you to sign these papers.” She holds out the papers Tony brought to her.

Bo looks at her with disgust, not moving away from his front porch. “For what?”

“They’re in love, and they want to get married. This may be their only chance.” Bo scoffs. “At least for next four years.”

Bo finally drops his hands to his sides, clenching his fists so tight that his knuckles blench white. Lukas excepts a fight, yelling, cursing, but all Bo says is, “Get in the house, Lukas.”

Lukas sways back and forth, suddenly becoming dizzy. He knew. He just knew his father would say no, would hold who he is against him. He tried to tell Philip. His father doesn’t want him to be that guy. The guy who loves another man, who is happy with who he is, who is out and unashamed. But Lukas wants to be that guy. Lukas will fight to be that guy.

The saddest thing for Lukas is that he knows his mom would love him, accept him. If she was still alive, she would have loved Philip like he was her own. His mom wouldn’t have signed the papers, she would have gone with them to watch her only son get married, and she would have made his father that Lukas is still the same person he was before.

“Don’t move,” Tony tells Lukas, who is now beside him, hands on his belt, looking like he’s about ready to start a gun fight. And he is. Tony has been waiting for a day like this since he decided to be a cop. This is exactly why he wanted to be a cop. He’s ready to come out with guns blazing. He just wishes it wasn’t as Lukas and Philip’s expense.

“Get inside this house right now,” Bo yells, stomping towards them.

Helen and Gabe remain unflinching.

“Or what, Bo? What will you do?” Helen asks him calmly, tilting her head like she suddenly putting everything together and knows exactly what kind of man Bo is when no one else is around.

Bo stumbles backward; looking like Helen slapped him, but he says nothing in return.

“Dad… please,” Lukas says a little too quietly, so quietly that only Philip and Tony can hear him.

“All we need is your signature.” Helen holds up the papers. 

“And maybe a ring,” Philip says.

Bo turns his attention on Philip for the first time, but Philip doesn’t flinch, doesn’t move, doesn’t blink. He stares right back at Bo.

“Philip is using mine,” Gabe tells him.

Bo looks down at his wedding ring, turning the gold metal around his finger. “No, your mother gave this to me… it's all I have left of her.”

Lukas stalks forward, dragging Philip with him. “You're supposed to have me,” he yells.

Bo and Lukas stare at one another for a few moments, and no one says a word. It’s five against one, but only one holds all the power, and if that isn’t exactly what the day is like for the majority of the world, well, then they don’t know what else is.

“I'll sign the papers, but no ring,” Bo finally says, eyes flickering to Philip and Lukas’ joined hands. 

Helen nods and walks over to Bo with the papers and a pen.

“I love my son,” Bo says, taking the papers. 

“Just not enough,” Helen replies.

Bo scrunches up the papers and stares at Helen. Gabe quickly makes his way over to them, not liking the look Bo is giving his wife. 

“You both think you're so much better than me, but you don’t understand.”

“Yes, I do.”

“We both do,” Gabe tells him.

Bo uses the house to sign the papers and then hands them to Helen.

“We’ll take care of him,” Helen says, folding up the papers. “We’ll love him like you couldn’t.” Helen’s words stick in her throat, growing more emotional the longer she stands in front of Bo. Shee never thought she'd be here, loving a child as her own, feeling every bit of the mother she never thought she could be.

Bo shakes his head and walks towards the front door without looking back.

“You’ll regret this, and I’m not talking about signing the papers.” Bo stops, his hand reaching out for the front door knob, but he doesn’t turn around. “I mean, this, how you’re acting. It may not be today or tomorrow, but you will regret not being there for your son,” Gabe tells him.

“I expect you to come and get his stuff tomorrow.” And then Bo goes inside, slamming the door shut behind him.

Helen and Gabe share a look, both exhaling a deep breath and then plaster a fake smile on their face as they turn around and see Philip and Lukas.

“He signed,” Helen says in a fake cheerful voice, eyes swimming with unfallen tears.

No one knows what to say. They stay quiet for far too long, trying to pass off their fake smiles as something genuine. The day started off scary, then turned into something more, something that seemed like a small beacon of hope, and then the day was completely shattered into nothingness. Now they don’t know where to go from here.

“Can I be the best man? If doesn’t matter for which one of you guys. I just have never been one before,” Tony asks, breaking the awkward and hurtful silence.

Helen sighs but is grateful to Tony for being the one to break them out of their stunned silence.

“Tony,” Helen chastises.

“Right, boss.” He moves closer to Lukas and Philip, and lowers his voice and says, “We’ll talk about it later.”

Helen shakes her head. “You’re driving in front. Put the sirens on and drive as fast as you can.” Helen looks at her watch. “We don’t have much time.”

“Let’s go get married,” Gabe says and is finally able to smile and mean it.

“Are you ready?” Philip asks Lukas as they make their way to Gabe’s car.

Lukas looks over his shoulder at his old house as he walks. Then Lukas suddenly stops Philip, and kisses him in front of his father’s house, knowing his father isn’t watching, but it’s enough for him. It’s something he should have done a million years ago.

Gabe honks the horn, and they jump away from each other, startled. “Save some for later,” Gabe calls out to them, waving them to come on from inside the car.

“Much, much later,” Helen adds.

“Guess who's getting some tonight,” Tony hangs out of the car window and yells entirely too loud as he backs up his car.

Lukas and Philip blush, and walk back to the car, never once letting go of the other's hand.

"I'm ready," Lukas answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I can't help myself :(
> 
> Headcanons:  
> Tony gets them a hotel room for their honeymoon as a thank you for being made best man.  
> Lukas does move in with Gabe and Helen.  
> They live in the downstairs bedroom until they finish school.  
> Another house is built on the property for them.  
> They drive back and forth from the city when they go to college.  
> They get their own place after college.  
> Bo does end up regretting how he treated Lukas, but it may be too late...


	3. Chapter 3

Bo isn’t sure how long it’s been since he’s been buying TV dinners for one, but here he is. At the store, buying another two weeks’ worth of frozen crap to eat.

Bo walks down the chip and cracker aisle, looking for his favorite brand of beef jerky when he hears the squeals of a child, and it’s like a punch in the gut that he doesn’t deserve. But that still doesn’t stop him, just like it never does, from looking up and seeing a man pushing a little girl in a shopping cart. That could be me, he thinks, well not me exactly. Lukas would be too old to be pushed in a cart, but he still remembers what it’s like to go shopping with a small child. He never went shopping with Lukas when his wife was alive, but there was no one else to help feed his son after she died. He used to hate making those trips, now he knows they weren’t so bad.

His son.

He scoffs at himself. He has no son. Whose fault is that?

The man stops in front of the million or so boxes of crackers, and that’s when Bo sees him, really sees him. He’s tall, skinny, and has darker hair. Brown, to be exact, just like his… just like her. The little girl, though, she has blonde hair chipped back into a ponytail, wearing a little pink and blue backpack, and only one shoe.

The air rips out of his lungs, and his knees nearly buckle.

How long has it been?

Before Bo can stop himself, his feet drive him closer to the man and the little girl. Bo knows how this looks; he looks old and sad, handcart full of crappy frozen food. He’s thankful the man is too busy trying to decide which box of crackers to get. He still has time to avoid him. But he knows he can’t, he doesn’t want to.

“Lukas?”

“Hmm?” Lukas answers, not moving, too engrossed with which flavor of Cheez-Its he wants.

Lukas not looking up at him hurts a little. If Lukas recognized his voice, he would have looked up right away. He doesn’t know his own father’s voice anymore.

“Lukas?”

“Yes,” he says, finally deciding on a box and dropping it into the cart, and then he finally looks up and sees Bo. His lips part, a rush of air escapes his mouth. He stares at Bo, not blinking, and then slowly pulls his shopping cart and the little girl away from where Bo is standing. “Yes?” he asks again.

“I thought it was you. I wasn’t sure,” because I haven’t seen you in years, “because of the hair.”

“It’s me,” he says coldly.

Lukas’ eyes flicker to his hand cart, and then back up to Bo’s face. He hides a smile, but Bo knows it’s there, knows he’s happy that his father is alone.

“How are you? I-”

“Don’t do that,” Lukas cuts Bo off, taking the little girl’s finger out of her nose. She laughs, trying to do it again. Lukas stops her again, then reaches into her backpack and takes out wet naps to clean her finger. “No picking your nose.”

Bo stumbles back a step, feeling like he’s imposing on a private moment, and he is, but he can’t seem to look away or leave.

The little girl pouts, lip wobbling. “Daddy lets me.”

Daddy? Lukas a father? Bo knew the moment he saw Lukas and the little girl, but actually accepting that fact is a completely different thing. His son, his boy is a father. It’s almost too much.

Lukas barks out a laugh. “Daddy does not let you.”

The little girl squeals, bounces up in her seat and points at the end of the aisle. Lukas breathes a sigh of relief when he sees Philip walking towards him. Bo looks back and forth between Lukas and the little girl to Philip, the little boy in one arm and the baby strapped to his chest.

“Your daughter says you allow her to pick her nose.”

Philip tilts his head, still walking towards him. “Oh, do I now?”

The little girl covers her mouth with her hands and laughs.

Bo sees the exact moment Philip notices he’s there. His steps falter slightly, but that doesn’t stop him from coming up next to Lukas.

Philip puts spaghetti sauce into the cart, eyes on Bo the entire time.

“You have kids?” Bo asks quietly.

Lukas doesn't answer. He stares at his father, contempt in his eyes, forehead creasing together.

“Duh,” the little girl says.

“Hey, Miss, manners,” Philip chastises.

The little girl ignores Philip, keeping all her attention on Bo. “Who are you?”

“Nobody,” Lukas answers, a little too abruptly, a little too forcefully.

Bo exhales a deep breath, knowing he deserves what Lukas is throwing his way. He hasn’t been around. He’s the one that pushed Lukas away. He’s the one that never made an effort. He’s the one who never came around. He’s the one who actively avoided Gabe and Helen when he saw them throughout the years. He doesn’t blame Lukas at all for acting the way he is.

“And they're yours?”

“They all are,” Lukas says defensively.

Philip places a hand on Lukas’ forearm, giving him a tight-lipped smile, reminding him of what his wife used to do with him when she wanted him to take a second and relax. And it hits him. He loved his wife more than anything, he still does, and Lukas has that with Philip. Why couldn’t he see that before? He knows why, but he chooses to ignore the reason, which doesn’t really matter anymore.

“Yes, Bo, we used adoption and surrogacy.” Lukas gives Philip a look which Philip completely ignores. Another look that reminds him of his late wife. “This is Allison, she’s five. Anthony will be three soon.” Philip bounces the little boy in his arms up and down. Anthony laughs, sounding exactly like Lukas used to. “And this little guy is Michael. He just turned one. Didn't you?” Michael sticks his chubby fist into Philip's mouth and laughs when Philip fake eats his hand.

“Shea,” Lukas says. 

Bo nods, he shouldn't have expected any different. Lukas got rid of his last name, took Philip all those years ago. Now Waldenbeck will die with him. Maybe that’s for the best.

“We’re thinking about adopting another child,” Philip tells him, and Bo is grateful. Philip is the only one paying attention to Bo. And he never thought he would be happy to be talking with Philip. But he doesn’t understand why Philip is giving him an olive branch.

“Adopted!” Allison yells.

Philip smiles at her. "That's right, baby. You were adopted.

Lukas nearly gets whiplash from turning to look at Philip so quickly. Philip bites his lip to stop himself from laughing at the dumbstruck look on Lukas’ face.

“No, we’re not.”

“Yes, we are.”

“No, Philip.”

“Yes, Lukas.”

“We're already outnumbered.”

Philip slowly turns back to Allison.

“Don't do it, Philip. Don’t you…” Lukas trails off.

“Ally, baby?”

“Yes, daddy?”

“Philip,” Lukas says in warning.

“Don't you want a sister?”

“Sister,” she claps, rocking back and forth her seat. Lukas hangs his head. “Cheer up, daddy.” Allison pats Lukas’ hand.

“Yeah, cheer up, daddy. And besides, we already have two As and now it’s time to have two Ms. It's only fair to Michael.”

“What? Tell me you’re joking? You’re trying to kill me.”

“You like it when I kill you,” Philip says with a smile, and then kisses Lukas quickly.

Bo clears his throat. They both look taken aback; like they forgot he was there. Bo rubs his hand on the back of his neck.

“So you live here?”

“No,” Lukas says. “It’s our anniversary. Gabe and Helen are watching the kids for us.” Anthony claps his hands, and Michael kicks out his little legs, knocking his heels into Philip’s stomach. He doesn’t seem to mind. No parent does. “We just need to stock up before we drop them off”

“Anniversary? How long has it been?” 

Lukas narrows his eyes. Bo knows instantly he shouldn’t have asked. Sure, he signed the papers, but he reacted poorly to their request.

“Fifteen years,” Philip replies.

Bo can’t believe it, can’t believe it’s been that long, that they made it. They were only kids when he came to him. Now they're two adults. Two adults with kids of their own.

“That’s a long time.”

“Yup,” Lukas pops his p.

“That makes you?”

When Lukas refuses to answer, Philip says, “Thirty-two.”

Thirty-two. 

Fifteen years. 

Bo realizes exactly how much he missed. Birthdays, Christmases, anniversaries, graduations, births, everything. He missed everything. He doesn’t even know what his son does for a living. Or where he lives.

“Look, we have to go.”

“Lukas, I-” He doesn’t know what to say. I’m sorry? I was wrong? I’m still wrong? I miss you? I want to know my grandchildren? I love you?

It's too late, Lukas wants to say, but he doesn't. Lukas completely disregards Bo, and says, “Who's ready to see Grandma and Grandpa?” That stings more than anything else. They aren’t his grandkids. They’re Gabe and Helen’s grandbabies. And that’s all on him.

“Me, me, me,” Allison raises her hand.

Lukas pushes the shopping cart around Bo, not saying goodbye or looking back. Philip doesn’t move. He stares at Bo, then gives him a small smile, nodding his head, and then follows behind Lukas.

Bo stands in the middle of the chip and cracker aisle, clutching his handheld cart, thinking about what he could have had, all that he missed out on, and what will never be. But he won’t break down in public, not in aisle three. He picks himself up, schools his emotions, and heads towards the liquor aisle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER I SWEAR
> 
> sorry if you wanted Lukas to forgive Bo. Philip is more of the forgiving type...
> 
> AND they do adopt another child hahaha


End file.
